Sorrow and Solace
by Luthien Snowtail
Summary: Willowtail and Skyfur love each other, but they are in different clans. What path will they choose?
1. Allegiances

Allegiances

(Just my OCs… everyone else should be pretty familiar!)

Willowtail – light gray she-cat with soft blue eyes – former loner/kittypet, now ThunderClan

Skyfur – Blue-gray tom with fiery green eyes – ShadowClan

Violet – Small silver/gray she-cat with violet blue eyes – Kittypet/loner – Willowtail's mother

Snowkit – Tortoiseshell she-kit with white paws and tail, and green eyes

Steelkit – Gray-blue tom with icy blue eyes

Cottonkit – White she-kit with violet eyes

(a/n – I seem to like the color gray! ;) well, hope this clears up any confusion! Thanks for reading!)


	2. Surprise

Skyfur looked up anxiously as he heard footsteps. He sighed in relief when he saw Willowtail padding through the bracken toward him. He stood up and stretched.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming!" He narrowed his eyes affectionately. She shook her small head,

"No, no. I just got caught up with a late hunting patrol, that's all. This Clan life isn't easy!" He chuckled,

"I could've told you that!" She smiled and pressed her muzzle into his fur,

"I missed you Skyfur." He purred. Suddenly she drew back. He glanced at her, startled.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently. He could see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes.

"Well… I… I have something important to tell you." Her big blue eyes were serious.

"What?" He asked, slightly nervous.

"It could change everything… I just…" Her voice trailed off. He lay down beside her and brushed her flank with his tail.

"It's ok, take your time." His words were calm but his stomach was churning. She looked up at him. Her eyes were still scared and serious, but there was a bit of joy in them. As he gazed into their depths he realized that you could tell exactly what Willowtail was thinking from her eyes. He wasn't sure what he saw there now though. All of a sudden she sighed and blurted out,

"I'm going to have kits, Skyfur! Our kits!" He gazed at her disbelievingly. All of a sudden realization sunk in. He started purring fiercely, covering her head with licks. She drew away, her eyes troubled.

"Skyfur, don't you know what this means?"

Skyfur shrugged,

"That we will be united forever through our kits?" She shook her head, a gesture filled with pain.

"No Skyfur. These kits will be born Thunderclan. I won't be able to see you when I am nursing them. You might even have to fight them when they grow up! Skyfur… I don't know…" Her voice was filled with regret and sorrow. Skyfur stared at her, his eyes flaming.

"Are you mad at me! Do you not want these kits!" His voice dripped with anger. She stared at him, too shocked to speak. Suddenly she regained her composure and went to press her nose into his fur comfortingly.

"No, no, no Skyfur." Her voice was soft and her eyes softer. "No, I simply regret the pain and disloyalty that these kits may cause us. And that the adversity they may have to face..." her blue gaze burned into him. A sudden noise in the bracken caused them to both look up, startled. A squirrel popped through the bushes, followed closely by Sorrelpaw. Willowtail gasped as Sorrelpaw skidded to a halt, the squirrel forgotten.

"Willowtail…what… who…" Sorrelpaw stammered her eyes wide with shock.

"Sorrelpaw, it's not… it's… I mean…" Willowtail's eyes were large and scared, her fur bristling. Skyfur pressed up against her comfortingly and hissed at Sorrelpaw. Sorrelpaw simply ignored him. She had relaxed her hackles and her voice was calm as she spoke.

"I'm not going to hurt my best friend, Skyfur." Her voice was dry, yet it seemed emotionless. "Willowtail, explanation please?" Willowtail's eyes were blank. Skyfur prodded her gently,

"Willowtail?" She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts.

"Sorrelpaw.. . Sorrelpaw, can we talk about this later?" Sorrelpaw looked away as an answer.

"Let's go, now!" her voice was hard but there was an underlay of care. Willowtail pressed her muzzle against Skyfur's in a goodbye.

"We'll talk later" she murmured, causing Sorrelpaw to hiss. As Willowtail padded mournfully up to her Sorrelpaw muttered, "This won't help the clan accept you any faster!" Willowtail merely sighed.

"Wait!" Yelled Skyfur

"What?" sighed Sorrelpaw exasperatedly.

"You… you won't… tell… will you? You can't!" He seemed scared to hear her answer. She glared back at him scathingly.

"What kind of a cat do you think I am? I'm not going to tell her… you guys need to work this out for yourself!" She turned back around and shook her head slowly. Skyfur watched them until they were out of sight. He dug his claws into the grass, _mousebrain, _he muttered_, _but he couldn't help feeling rather elated. Willowtail was going to have his kits! He ran back to camp, his paws barely touching the ground. For a small time, all seemed right with the world. Yet there was a small nagging doubt at the back of his mind telling him he would never feel like this again.


	3. Reverie

Sorrelpaw sighed as she watched Willowtail glance around nervously before slipping behind the nursery. How could Willowtail still be seeing Skyfur? This just wasn't the time. Graystripe had enough problems as it was. This would… this would be bad. Maybe Willowtail just didn't understand… she was new, not clan born… maybe she didn't get it? Sorrelpaw hated thinking of her friend that way. Willowtail was a loyal ThunderClan cat. She had believed in StarClan before she even came to ThunderClan.

Ravenpaw was her father, which was how she believed in StarClan. Violet, Willowtail's mother, had been a kittypet in the Twoleg nest near Ravenpaw's barn. One day she had gotten out, gotten lost and found shelter in Ravenpaw's barn. Ravenpaw had fallen in love with her, and she had stayed with him in the barn. Soon she had willow, their kit. Ravenpaw taught both of them about StarClan, and the Warrior Code. Then, two leaf bares ago, Violet became sick. Ravenpaw tried to help her but he knew nothing. Finally, the three of them tried to get to Cinderpelt, but it was too late. Violet died at the edge of ThunderClan territory and Ravenpaw buried Violet her there. Violet had always expressed an interest in Clan life, and Ravenpaw thought that if she had lived, perhaps they might have ended up going back to ThunderClan. He would have done anything she wanted. He took comfort in the fact that she had a strong belief in StarClan and one day he would see her there. He let Willow decide what to do for herself. She was unsure about the Clan life and decided instead to become a kittypet. It hurt Ravenpaw, for he had taught her the Warrior Code and everything that went with it, but he respected her, and her own decision. He was actually rather glad to have all memories of his short-lived happiness out of his life, though he loved his daughter very much.

One day, everything changed for young Willow. She was out on the edge of the Twoleg place fence, trying to catch a mouse (because she missed the taste), when she was attacked by a fox. She would have died had it not been for Sorrelpaw, and the patrol she was with. Sorrelpaw had heard the fighting and come to her rescue, followed closely by Brackenfur and Graystripe. Willow had been enthralled by the way the warriors had fought together, and had decided to join. Firestar welcomed her gladly, her being Ravenpaw's daughter, and she quickly became a part of the clan. Of course Sorrelpaw was her best friend. But now… Sorrelpaw wasn't sure. Maybe Willowtail was just confused, maybe she misunderstood?

Suddenly Sorrelpaw's thoughts were interrupted by someone calling her name loudly. She snapped out of her reverie to discover Brackenfur standing right in front of her.

"Are you ok? I called your name 5 times…" Brackenfur looked concerned.

"I'm fine, just thinking is all!" She smiled optimistically and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Care to go on a hunting patrol with me?" He returned her smile

"C'mon, let's go, can't wait all day!" She flicked his ear with her tail tip and bounded toward the gorse tunnel. Once she was out into the forest she breathed deep, pouring clean air over her scent glands. She followed Brackenfur, stopping once in awhile to stalk a squirrel. Suddenly she realized the route they were taking. They were going straight for the ShadowClan border. Willowtail and Skyfur flashed into her mind.

"B…Brackenfur?" she stammered

"Yeah?"

"I… I think it would be better hunting to go up the stream, by RiverClan!"

"What?"

"I mean... I think we should go there… at least… try it please?" She bit her lip in hope that her weak plea would work

"Alright… we'll try it." Brackenfur sounded suspicious but his eyes were kind. Sorrelpaw gasped out a quiet sigh of relief. Her plan had worked for now. But what about all the other times she wouldn't be here to protect them? She sighed and padded after Brackenfur, trying hard to focus on the hunt.


	4. Care

Willowtail stretched happily in the weak leaf-bare sunshine. She turned her face up to the sun and sighed in contentment. Sorrelpaw padded up and gave her a look.

"Are you going to see Skyfur today?" She asked it pointedly and her tone was slightly annoyed.

"Yes…" answered Willowtail carefully

"I'm going with you."

"What?"

"I have to! I have to look out for danger, for our clanmates!"

"Sorrelpaw…"

"Please Willowtail… I have to!" Sorrelpaw's eyes were pleading and her ears were perked to hear the answer. Willowtail sighed.

"Fine Sorrelpaw… fine."

Sorrelpaw gave a sigh of relief.

"When are you going?"

"Now" Willowtail said coldly. Sorrelpaw shrank back

"Ok, fine, let me go tell Graystripe." She scampered away. Willowtail followed with her gaze. Why did Sorrelpaw have to treat her as an apprentice? Sorrelpaw ran back up.

"Ok, we're going hunting!" Willowtail gave her a look through narrowed eyes. She padded through the gorse tunnel followed closely by Sorrelpaw. She caught a mouse and buried it to pick up later and then started running. She heard Sorrelpaw panting behind her but she didn't slow down. She continued on mercilessly until she couldn't breathe. She lay down to catch her breath and Sorrelpaw flopped down beside her, shooting her a look. Willowtail turned her head away, still angry. Abruptly she jumped up and sprinted away. Sorrelpaw leapt, annoyed, to her feet and dashed off, catching up quickly.

"You can't get rid of me" she hissed. Willowtail snorted and continued running. Suddenly, all too fast she sprang upon the ShadowClan border, skidding to a halt. Sorrelpaw did the same, nearly crashing into her. She stood up and shook her fur, shaking of scraps of mess and leaves. She froze when the bushed began to move wildly. Sorrelpaw shrank back but Willowtail had already scented Skyfur. He walked calmly out of the bushes and her heart lightened at the sight of him.

"Skyfur!" She went and twined her tail with his, purring. They touched noses gently

"I missed you," said Skyfur. Sorrelpaw hissed

"I'm going to keep watch," she said sharply. Skyfur looked up, noticing her for the first time.

"What is she doing here?" His voice was filled with suspicion. Sorrelpaw stuck her nose in the air

"I'm here to make sure you don't get caught!" Her haughty air dropped and she looked into Willowtail's annoyed eyes.

"The price is too great if you do." Her eyes were soft and her voice caring. She pushed through the bushes and climbed a tree. Willowtail hissed, annoyed.

"I'm not a kit! I don't need watching over! Why does she think I am so incapable of looking after myself?" Skyfur licked her head.

"Calm down. She doesn't think that you are incapable. She is just trying to help. She wants us to be able to talk without having to hide at every sound. She is your friend Willowtail!" Skyfur's eyes were kind but his tone held gentle rebuke. She ducked her head, ashamed. He touched his nose to her ear in comfort.

"It's ok." She buried her nose in his fur.

"No, it's not ok! Nothing is ok! I can't do this Skyfur! I can't do this… Firestar's gone, half the clan hates me, and then there is you…" Her voice trailed off as she realized what she had said. His glared at her, green eyes filled with fire.

"Well! If you feel that way I'll just go!" Willowtail gasped

"NO! Y… you can't… I d….I didn't… I didn't mean…" She was surprised at how fast his anger died down.

"I know… I feel the same. It's not you… its having to keep you a secret." He sighed heavily. She stared at him

"Yes, yes that is exactly it! Oh Skyfur…"

"PATROL!" Sorrelpaw's yowl caused them to snap out of their thoughts. He touched her ear-tip with his nose.

"See you soon Willowtail." He gazed after her as she sprang through the bushes to be with Sorrelpaw.

The patrol, Mousefur, Brackenfur, and Sootpaw, came padding up to her.

"What were you doing?" Mousefur's voice was accusing.

"I…I was just chasing a squirrel but it went over the border" Willowtail was breathing fast.

"I hope you didn't follow it!" Mousefur's eyes were hard

"Of course not!" Willowtail glanced around wildly for Sorrelpaw. She needed another cat with her. Sorrelpaw was talking animatedly to Brackenfur. Willowtail gave a respectful nod to Mousefur and went to join them. Sorrelpaw turned to her when she got close.

"Willowtail! I think that the medicine cats need an escort tomorrow. WindClan have been spoiling for a fight ever since Sootpaw stole that rabbit a few weeks ago." She cast an irritated glance at her brother, "But Brackenfur here…" he interrupted her.

"I think that is mousebrained! No clan would ever dare attack medicine cats! If anything, a warrior would only make them more likely to attack! Plus, even if I agreed, Cinderpelt never would! Ordinary warriors can't go with medicine cats! Its sacred!" his amber eyes flashed angrily. Sorrelpaw snorted.

"We wouldn't actually go IN Mothermouth you mousebrain! Willowtail, what do you think?" Willowtail thought it over. Both warriors had good points, though she did have to side with Brackenfur. Even angry WindClan wouldn't attack medicine cats! She was about to say so when she realized something.

"I think Sorrelpaw is right… it's better to be on the safe side." She had a plan.

"It's up to Graystripe" Brackenfur stalked away. Sorrelpaw followed him, sighing.

"He can't get so irate!" Willowtail giggled. Then she spoke, uncertainly

"Sorrelpaw, I'm sorry. I was wrong this morning…" She gave her friend a smile. Sorrelpaw flicked Willowtail's ear with her tail.

"It's ok, I understand!" she smiled back, and the two she-cats raced back to camp.


	5. Advice

Willowtail followed Cinderpelt out of camp. She had explained what she was doing to Cinderpelt, because the medicine cat would understand and because that was the only way she would be able to go. She gazed unseeingly at the brilliant sunrise, lost in thought. She was startled by Cinderpelt speaking her name.

"Willowtail? C'mon! If you are going to stand there all day then I'll go on without you!" Cinderpelt's words were sharp but not unkind.

"Oh, right, sorry Cinderpelt! I'm coming!" She scampered up the ravine and panted after Cinderpelt, toward ShadowClan territory. She breathed deeply in the crisp morning air. The scents of the forest where exhilarating. She stopped to catch a mouse, devouring it in a few swift bites. She didn't bother offering any to Cinderpelt, since medicine cats aren't allowed to eat before visiting Highstones. When she was done the two of them continued towards ShadowClan. Following the familiar path made Willowtail's heart race and her breathing became fast and shallow.

"Is something wrong?" Cinderpelt sounded genuinely concerned.

"No… nothing. I'm just… just anxious about seeing my father I guess." Cinderpelt nodded sympathetically. Willowtail sighed. She hated secrets. She took a deep breath as she spotted Littlecloud on the ShadowClan border, patiently waiting, and she struggled to control her mixed emotions. If Littlecloud sensed them, and if he had noticed something wrong with Skyfur, he might put two and two together and they would be in trouble. She shook her head. She was just being paranoid! She cleared her mind as they padded up to Littlecloud, and dipped her head respectfully in greeting.

"Why is she here?" Littlecloud's words were curious, not mean.

"I… I'm going to see my father." Willowtail wasn't 100% sure she should have told him that, but she was tired of lying. What bad could it do anyway?

"Oh, ok, so she isn't coming to Mothermouth with us?" Willowtail shook her head

"Nope, I'm not." Cinderpelt snorted impatiently.

"Are we just going to sit here and gossip all day? Let's go!" Willowtail scrambled to alertness. Littlecloud nodded and padded off toward Highstones. They were at Ravenpaw's barn before she knew it. She nodded goodbye to the group of Medicine cats, which now included Barkface and Mudfur.

"I will wait here for you at dawn." She said. Cinderpelt nodded. Willowtail raced through the treed to the barn. She hoped that Ravenpaw wouldn't be mad at her. He still stood by the Warrior Code and believed in StarClan. She came up to the hole in the door of the barn.

"Willow? Is that you I smell? Come in!" The sound of Barley's kind voice brought back memories. She squeezed into the barn, blinking to get used to the dim light.

"Ravenpaw! Come see who is here!" Barley's voice echoed around the large barn. He touched noses with her. "It's good to have you here, Willow!" She smiled,

"It's good to be here! But I'm just going to stay for the night. Oh and its Willow*tail* now!" She grinned and Barley laughed,

"Ok Willow*TAIL*" Her grin grew. Then Ravenpaw's voice came through the echo.

"Willowtail? Is that you?"

"Father!" She rushed to him and pressed her nose into his fur. He licked the top of her head.

"I came because I need to talk to you." Her stomach growled and Ravenpaw laughed.

"Why don't you go hunt first and then we can talk!" she laughed and nodded

"Sounds good!" She drew a deep breath over her scent glands and was overwhelmed by the scent of mouse. "Wow," she exhaled. Ravenpaw smiled,

"I'll be over there, when you catch a couple you can come and eat with me!" She nodded, and set to hunting. She picked up a definitive scent trail and followed it. A mouse was happily nibbling seeds. When she got a fox length away she pounced, and caught him easily. She took the large mouse back to where Ravenpaw had told her and found him tearing into one of his own. She dropped the mouse by him and tucked in. It was the plumpest mouse she'd had since Greenleaf.

"Wow, I forget how easy the living is here!" She smirked and he chuckled,

"You never were one for the easy life!" his tone became a bit more serious, "So, what did you need to talk about? Are you ok?" She shook her head and her eyes betrayed her confusion and sorrow.

"Ok…" She said after a few deep breaths "I need your advice." She laid out the whole story. Skyfur, Sorrelpaw, kits, clan. By the end of it he was laying down next to her pressing his pelt into hers. She buried her nose in his fur and felt like a kit again.

"This is a rather long journey for a queen. Are you alright?" He licked the top of her head.

"Yeah, they won't be coming for two more moons anyway. So… anything… any help?" She gazed at him hopefully. He sighed.

"I think you should follow your heart. You're already having his kits. You know where your true loyalty lies." She snorted.

"You sound like StarClan!" She flicked his ear with her tail.

"Oh yes!" he said "That would be a good idea too. Talk to StarClan!"

"But I'm not a medicine cat… I can't!"

"Oh… that never stopped Firestar!" Ravenpaw smiled. "Just ask them Willowtail! They're not mean. They won't bite your tail off!"

"I'll try... but… Oh! I should have joined ShadowClan! None of this would be a problem! No, no, I would have missed what I had heard. Thunderclan. Oh, look at me! I'm just rambling on about nothing! Oh Ravenpaw…" Her blue eyes were blank with exhaustion.

"Why don't you go sleep? You're exhausted…" He flicked her ear and she nodded slowly

"Right…" She stretched slowly up to her feet and padded toward the large stacks of hay. She pulled a few strands out to create a makeshift nest and dropped down into it. She was asleep the moment her eyes closed, thinking of her father's words. She opened her eyes to the sound of a skittering mouse. Moonlight poured in through a tall loft window and she basked in its glow as she stood and stretched.

"Hello dear one."

Hearing the familiar voice made her jump straight up, and she came down facing her mother.

"Violet," She breathed. "What in StarClan are you doing here?"

"Exactly!" said Violet.

"Oh mother!" Willowtail ran and pressed her nose into her mother's fur. "Mother, I miss you so much!" She pressed against her, drinking in her delicate scent. Violet smelled of violets, as she always had, but now the sweet scent was wreathed with wind and stars. Willowtail stepped back.

"Why are you here?" she tipped her head curiously. Violet laughed,

"I believed in StarClan more than you did…" She broke off because Willowtail was shaking her head.

"No, no, no, I mean here with me…" Her eyes lit up as she realized. "Are you here to help me?"

Violet nodded

"Yes dear one, you called so I came. What do you need?"

"Please, I need… advice." Her mother's eyes became distant.

"Follow what you know is true. Only you know where your true loyalties lie. Only you know what is in your heart… don't act on hasty impulses." Her mother's voice became softer. "You know what you have to do Willowtail. The thing is simply to do it…" Willowtail gazed into her mother's loving eyes.

"I will. I will follow my heart." Her voice cracked. "But what if it is leading me in the wrong direction. What if…" her mother interrupted her.

"No what ifs! Just do it Willowtail!" Willowtail nodded. Violet padded over to her and licked the top of her head gently.

"Goodbye my love."

"Wait, don't go! Wait mother!" Willowtail sounded like a little kit, and felt just as helpless. Her mother's voice faded away and was replaced by the sound of rain on the barn roof. Willowtail blinked open her eyes slowly and then scrambled to her paws. Dim, pre-dawn light was filtering through the loft window and she realized that if she didn't get moving fast she would miss the medicine cats. She rushed to where her father was enjoying a mouse.

"I was just about to wake you… do you have to go?" Ravenpaw's mew was cheery.

"Yes I do. But before I go, thanks. You really helped. And so… so did… mother." She hated her father's reaction that always came when Violet was mentioned. His eyes became hard with pain and sorrow and his mouth was pulled into a thin straight line.

"That's… good. I love helping you." His words seemed forced. She sighed. Ravenpaw would carry this weight for a while.

"'Bye father. I love you."

"Goodbye Willowtail. Come again sometime. I love you too." He was staring past her. She sighed again and squeezed back through the barn door. She breathed in the fresh morning air gratefully. She ran quickly to the meeting place, getting there just as the sun burst through the clouds. The rain had died off, leaving everything sparkly fresh. She only had to wait a couple minutes for the medicine cats. She nodded respectfully when they came up, and fell into her place next to Cinderpelt.

"So, how was Ravenpaw?" Cinderpelt sounded harmless.

"He was fine, we had a nice time."

"Oh, good!" Cinderpelt sounded as if she knew more, but she also knew that Willowtail could no more tell her what had happened in the barn then she could tell Willowtail about the moonstone ceremony. Willowtail was comforted by the thought that Cinderpelt knew that. They padded back to camp quickly and silently, enjoying the warm day.


End file.
